8 years ago
Monday, April 8, 2013
My sister’s husband changed my life forever – What should I do?
Well, i dont know where to start. Since childhood i had gone through so many issues, i am starting to hate men. Mine is a small family (dad, mom, elder sister and me). My father was not settled until many years, and we had so many financial problems during childhood .
There is always some kind of problem at home. Later my dad got a job, and financially we were okay, but my dad had an extra marital relationship, and he used to drink daily. He abuused all of us(mom, sister, me) physically and mentally everyday.
My mom is a old fashioned lady, and she used to be calm and she just remained quiet . They used to have arguments and stuff, but my mom is innocent type and she neither cared for my dad, nor us. I love my sister more than anything in this world. I can say, she treated me like a child.
She is just 2 1/2 years older than me, but showed so much maturity.She used to wash my clothes, took care of me like a baby when i have fever. We had very good emotional bonding. In between these fighting’s my sister got married(love marriage). My sister’s husband used to talk so sweetly, and every one thought what a good selection she made. Then they had a kid and every one is happy for them. Then i got married(love marriage), my hubby and my sis’s hubby used to talk nicely too. We used to meet regularly.
I used to think, we didn’t have understanding parents, at least we have wonderful husbands. All of a sudden everything changed. 2 years after my marriage, i went to my sister’s place.
My husband was not there at that time. One night, my sister and her son were sleeping on the bed, and i was sleeping on a mat, next to the bed. My sister’s husband was working, and lights were off and during midnight, my sister’s husband, pulled up my night dress and was feeling my legs.
I got shocked, and scared. I just pulled my blanket tightly and slept still. I just didn’t know what to do at that time. I mean i never expected such thing. Again he pulled the blanket and moved my night dress and felt my legs with his legs. I immediately sat up and ran in to the bathroom and locked. I cried like anything that whole night, i felt so scared to open the door.
My sister didn’t know anything as she was sleeping. I stayed in the bathroom for 3 hrs or so and i guess early in the morning, i opened the door and this stupid idiot was sleeping beside my sister as if nothing happened. I took my cell phone, and slowly opened the main door and called my husband immediately.
I told him everything that has happened. He was shocked too, and asked me to immediately get out from that place and come to him. As soon as my sister got up, i didn’t even said anything to her, what should i say?i told her, i am leaving and i didn’t even wait for her response and left their home.
This incident happened in 2004,I never told this thing to anyone other than my husband for the first 2 years. Me and my hubby stopped talking to my sis’s hubby. I used to talk to my sister normally, but not as close as before. My sister asked me many times, why you and your hubby are not talking to my hubby etc and i never told her anything. In all these years, i had 2 kids, and she had 2 kids, but i completely stopped meeting her unless it is very necessary (occasions).
My sister’s hubby used to behave so normally as if nothing happened at all, i feel so worthless and humiliated. He used to act as if he loves my sister to death. He presents her with diamond necklaces, gold whatever.
My sister is also very happy, and she loves him. Whenever there is a family occasion, this guy acts so politely, brings gifts to everyone, respects elders.He did a big mistake, and i can’t believe he is just acting normally. I am the one who is suffering all these years. I just cant talk to my sister normally anymore. Even my parents used to say, oh your sister’s husband is a very gentle man, he takes care of her like queen, blah blah.
I was not able to take it anymore and after 2 years of this incident, i told my parents what actually had happened between me and this guy. They were shocked at the beginning. They have no choice either way, because he is my sister’s husband, so they thanked me for keeping quiet and not letting her know. But i still can’t digest how this guy is cheating everyone, that is not the real him. He is a very cunning fellow.
As i have told earlier, my parents are worthless characters too, now they dont even care, that i suffered this. All they say is, whatever happened, he is taking care of your sister nicely.. and all that ****.. I feel so humiliated. And coming to my husband, he is a good guy, but due to this incident, he is feeling very insecure and angry.
Whenever we all have to meet, i am struggling in the middle. My husband blames me, if my parents treat my sis’s husband good. See your parents still treat him like god, and all those comments are hurting me.. I am just feeling so helpless. Sometimes, i feel like just stop talking to my sister as if i don’t have a sister, but she is my only sister and i cant let go her. The one thing that hunted me most is, last year while talking to my mom, she said a conversation that happened between my sis and my mom.
It seems my sis said to my mom that despite how she took care of me before marriage, i and my husband are very rude, we are not talking to her husband, and she blamed me for this separation etc.. i still can’t believe how can my sister think negatively about me.
Despite what i did to save her marriage life, she thinks i am the fault.. I know she don’t know this incident, but how can she underestimate me as a sister? she knows better about me than anyone in this world. Why can’t she once think for a moment, why all of a sudden i left that day?
why we stopped talking? why i am hesistant to meet? I dont know, i just feel horrible in the midst of all these things.. I feel like letting go of my sibling relationship..I can’t forget what that idiot did to me, i am the one who is taking all these harsh comments from my sis and husband, though i didn’t do any thing..and the one who is reason for this trouble acts like a king… There is no value for good and truth in this world.. What should i do, i want to end this suffering.. pls advice.
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